Sweet Angel
by confessing-to-heichou
Summary: Marco Bodt was gone. His sweet angel had ceased to exist. (High school Modern AU)


"Marco, she's so gorgeous." Jean said, gushing over Mikasa Ackerman.

Marco giggled. His best friend was so adorable, especially when he was talking about his crush.

"I wish you luck on Friday. Go win her heart!" Marco cheered, patting his friend on the back.

"Hehe, yeah. Thanks, Marco. You're the greatest friend ever." Jean said, smiling at him.

"Aww thanks, Jean. You too." He replies, beaming at his friend's compliment.

Although Marco seemed very happy and excited for his friend on the outside, it was killing him inside.

* * *

_Flashback_

_December 2012_

"H-hey, Jean? Can I come over today? I need to tell you something." He stuttered out.

"Hm? Of course! I'll meet you outside by the main gate so we can walk together." Jean replies, smiling.

"Great. See you then." Marco says before rushing off to class.

After school, Marco was a trembling mess as he walked towards the gate.

'I'm so scared.. What if he thinks I'm a freak?' He wondered as he got closer and closer.

"Marco! Over here!" Jean shouted, waving his hand in the air. Marco waved back in response, signaling to Jean.

"Ready to go?" He asked Marco. Marco responds with a quick nod, and starts walking.

When they arrived at Jean's house, they immediately went up to his room.

"You want something to eat or drink?" Jean offered while taking his coat off.

"No thanks." Marco replied, doing the same as Jean.

"So, what'd you wanna talk to me about?" He asked Marco as he sat on his bed.

Marco could only sit on the floor and twiddle his fingers.

"W-well, uh.. C-could you promise me something before I tell you?" He asked.

"Sure. Anything for you." Jean responded, smilng.

"Promise me that… You won't hate me." Marco whispered.

"Marco.. I could never hate you. You're my best friend." Jean said, slightly appalled that his friend would say something like that.

"Great.. W-well, first, I'm gay." Marco admitted while looking down at the ground. He was deathly scared of Jean's reaction.

To his surprise, Jean didn't call him a "freak."

"Marco, buddy, that's okay. I'm totally cool with that. Thanks for letting me know." Jean replies, going down to hug him.

"R-really? Thanks, Jean.." He said, hugging him back.

"So, what's the second thing?" Jean asked, pulling back so he could face him.

"I-I.. I've had a crush on you.. For a while now, actually. Don't worry! I-I won't come onto you or anything creepy like that.. But I totally understand if you don't want to be friends anymore. I'll go now.." Marco rambled, standing up to gather his things. As he moved, he was held back by Jean's hand.

"Marco, don't go. I'm totally fine with that. I mean, I can't go out with you, but we'll always be best friends. How could I let you go?" Jean asked, standing up to embrace his friend tightly.

"You mean, you don't think I'm a freak? For god's sake, I have a crush on my best friend! My straight best friend!" Marco exclaimed, surprised at Jean's answer.

"Marco, I could never do that." Jean murmured, resting his head on Marco's shoulder.

And then the dam broke.

Marco's eyes overflowed with tears as his knees gave out. He crumbled onto the floor, bringing Jean with him.

His body trembled as he sobbed into his friend's chest. Jean patted his head and continued to hold him.

After crying, Marco was able to utter, "T-thank.. Thank you, Jean."

Jean smiled and whispered, "No problem, buddy. You wanna spend the night?"

"I-I could? Even after everything I told you?"

"Of course! Like I said, you're my best friend and you will always be. I trust you completely."

Marco was taken aback. "G-gee, Jean. Thanks."

Soon after, their lives were back to normal. Almost as if nothing happened.

* * *

_Present day_

_December 2013_

"Do I look good or do I look good?" Jean asked Marco while looking at himself in the mirror.

Marco laughed at his friend's question.

"Almost good. Your tie's crooked." He said while getting up from Jean's bed to fix it for him.

"There. Now you look good." He said after redoing the tie.

Jean smiled at his best friend.

"Thanks, bro. What could I ever do without you?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"Heh, you're right.

Marco smiled and hugged him.

"Go win her heart, Jean. I know you can do it."

"Thanks, Marco. I'll text you to keep you updated or if I don't know what to do."

"Jean, just be yourself. She'll love you."

"Really?"

"Yup. And if she turns you down, then it's her loss. You're the greatest guy anyone could have."

"…"

Marco looked down at his friend.

"J-Jean.. Are you crying?"

"Y-you just had to say something sappy like that, didn't you?!"

Jean furiously rubbed at his eyes while Marco laughed.

"It's the truth, Jean." Marco said while wiping his friend's tears.

"Go on, go on! You wanna be late?" Marco jokingly scolded his friend as he pushed him to the front door.

"Wish me luck, Marco." Jean said as he headed out.

"I actually have to leave now. My mom wants me home, so I'll walk with you for a bit?" Marco offered as he locked and closed the door behind him.

"Sure. I'm so nervous, oh my gosh. I might have to puke."

"Nope. No puking, Jean. Be brave! I thought you were the alpha male?"

"I am! Hell yeah! I'm the alpha male!"

Marco threw his head back in laughter.

"Yes you are!" He cheered on for his friend.

As they went around the corner, it was time for Marco to go.

"You can do it, Jean. I believe in you." He said while smiling warmly at his friend.

Jean waved and continued his journey to Mikasa's house.

Marco went inside and shut the door. He ran up to his room and immediately jumped on his bed. He buried himself under the covers and sobbed.

He was deathly scared.

So scared that Mikasa would date Jean. Scared that Jean would leave him all alone.

After crying for what felt like hours, he drifted off to sleep.

When Marco woke up and checked the time on his phone, 22:30 glowed on his screen. Along with it, 6 new text messages from Jean were on the screen.

"I'm at her house omg im so scared marco"

"marco omg she looks gorgeous"

"we're the restaurant rn idk what to do"

"she looks so adorable when she eats I mean her face her eyes her nose basically just her in general"

"you sleeping bro? w/e I'll still keep you updated"

"MARCOMARCOMARCOMARCOMARCO SHE SAID YES SHE SAID YESSSSS"

Upon seeing the final text, Marco immediately started to cry again.

His fears were coming true. Jean would leave him for her. Jean would forget about him.

* * *

On the Monday that they returned to school, Marco was sluggishly grabbing his books from his locker when Jean ran up to him.

"Bro! Did you get my messages? She said yes!" He exclaimed while pumping his fist in the air.

Marco laughed and nodded "yes."

"Jean, I'm so happy for you! You two look great together."

"Really? Marco, you're the best!"

He smiled before saying, "I'd love to talk to you all about it, but Mr. Rivaille will kill me if I'm late to his class. I'll come over after school?"

Jean smiled brightly, unable to contain his excitement. "Of course, buddy. See you at the main gate?"

"Yup. Bye, Jean." Marco said before walking upstairs to class.

14:30 rolled by way too fast for Marco. To be honest, he didn't want to talk about Mikasa. His envy was overflowing, and he swore that his skin could be a sickly green color.

He soon met Jean and they walked together to his house.

When they arrived, Jean grabbed Marco's hand and practically dragged him.

In his room, all Jean could do was ramble on and on about Mikasa and their date.

"Man, you should've seen her! Her hair was so shiny and lovely. She had this gorgeous black dress on with a black pea coat, and it was all topped off with that red scarf she wears. She even put on some makeup! Although in my opinion, she looks way beautiful without it. Well, she just looks beautiful!" He quickly said, talking very animatedly.

All Marco did was nod and smile. His friend's enthusiasm was so cute to watch.

The clock on Marco's phone showed 21:00 as the time.

"Jean, I gotta get going now. Tell me more tomorrow?" He asked, retrieving his belongings and walking towards the stairs.

"Oh yeah sure! I'll show you to the door." Jean offered, quickly walking alongside Marco.

"Thanks for letting me stay, Jean." Marco said gratefully, smiling at him.

"You're always welcome to come here. Good night." Jean said warmly.

"Night, Jean." Marco replied as he walked down the porch steps and started the trek back to his house.

Jean shut the door and smiled. Man. He was one lucky guy. He scored the girl of his dreams and had a best friend he could always count on.

Before going to bed that night, he sent a text to Marco and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Marco sat in the bathtub with the bathroom door locked.

He couldn't do it anymore.

Jean didn't love him.

Jean loved Mikasa.

Jean wouldn't care about him.

Mikasa would be the only thing on his mind.

Soon, Jean will start to ignore him.

And leave him alone.

All alone.

He trembled as he brought the blade closer to his wrist. Just as he was about to press down, his phone vibrated loudly and brought him back to reality.

It was a text from Jean.

"Hey, Marco. Thanks for listening to me ramble on and on about Mikasa. I'm so lucky to have a friend like you. I hope you'll find the right guy who'll love you just as much as I do. Good night!"

He started to cry, his tears dripping onto his phone screen. With eyes that were barely open, he quickly replied.

"Of course! You're my best friend. I'd do anything for you. Good bye, Jean."

After sending it, he went back to what he was doing.

He brought it close to his skin, and dug it in deep before dragging it slowly.

Marco watched the blood ooze and tried his best not to voice his pain. His pain tolerance was fairly low. Entranced by the blood that was rapidly going down to his arms, he did the same to his other wrist.

He couldn't stay awake. His eyes were closing too fast for him.

"Jean.. I love you." Were his last words before he fell into an eternal slumber.

The next morning, Jean checked his phone for Marco's reply.

He smiled, not noticing how Marco had said "goodbye" instead of "goodnight."

He quickly jumped in the shower and got ready for school.

When he arrived in homeroom, he quickly took his usual seat next to Marco's.

* * *

At 7:30, the bell rang and signaled all students to go to homeroom.

At 7:33, Marco still wasn't in his seat.

At 7:35, their homeroom teacher, Mr. Pixis, walked in slowly.

"Excuse me class for walking in late. I just received some grave news. Your fellow classmate, Marco Bodt, was found dead today morning at 5:30 by his mother. The cause of death was suicide." He solemnly said while facing the class.

Jean could feel his heart drop down to his stomach.

Marco.

Marco.

Marco.

Marco.

Marco.. was dead? N-no.. Marco can't be dead. Marco's probably just running late. Maybe this was all just a bad dream. Yeah, just a bad dream.

It wasn't.

During 3rd period, Jean was called down to the guidance counselor. In there, he was greeted by the sight of Mrs. Bodt's tearstained face.

"Oh, Jean. Marco.. Marco, he's.." She could barely finish her sentence before she started to sob.

Jean could feel tears fall down his cheek as he brought his best friend's mother into his chest and embraced her.

"Jean, I know that you were his best friend. This must be a very hard time for you, so you are excused from school for 2 weeks. I'll have your teachers organize the work you'll be missing, so please, rest at home." Mr. Smith, the guidance counselor said.

All Jean could do was nod his head. After an hour or so, he left the room, and started the seemingly long trek back home.

At home, he had no energy. The only thing he could muster the strength to do was sob. He cried and cried, soaking his pillow with tears and saliva. He cried himself to sleep that night.

The next morning, Jean's eyes were swollen and puffy. He could barely keep them open as he checked his phone. He had gotten 5 new messages.

"Jean, I heard about what happened with Marco. I'm so sorry. Call me if you ever need me. –Mikasa."

"Oh my gosh, Jean. I'm so sorry about Marco. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. –Christa"

"Jean, Marco was a great guy. He's in a better place now. I'm here if you ever need to talk.-Eren"

"We heard about Marco. Jean, we're so sorry.-Reiner and Bertholdt"

"Jean. I know we don't talk much, but I felt the need to offer my condolences to Marco. He was a sweet kid.-Annie."

Every time he read Marco's name, he couldn't help but let out a choked cry.

Marco.

Marco.

His sweet angel was gone.

And there wasn't a single thing he could do to bring him back.

As he scrolled through his messages, he paused at Marco's.

He remembered the last text he received from him.

And then it hit him.

Marco had said "goodbye."

Not "goodnight."

Oh god. Marco. Marco had given him a hint. And he hadn't even seen it until the next morning. He was too late.

As he sobbed once more, his phone vibrated. He checked the screen, and it was from Marco.

He quickly answered the phone, shouting, "Marco?! Is that you? You're not dead, right?"

Sadly, on the other end, it was Marco's mother. She choked back a cry when she heard Jean.

"Jean, baby, I am so sorry. I'm just calling to let you know that Marco left a letter and a will. C-could you come down to take a look at them?" She asked, silent tears streaming down her face.

Jean froze. Marco was dead. For real. This wasn't a dream. It was reality.

He soon broke out of his thoughts and responded.

"O-of course. I'll be there shortly." He hung up and got dressed.

He slowly walked to Marco's house, and upon arriving, he was greeted by Marco's parents.

"You can go up to his room. The letter and will are on his desk." Mr. Bodt said.

Jean could only nod before walking up the stairs. He arrived at Marco's door, and shut his eyes. He wasn't ready to go in, but he knew that he had to. Jean turned the doorknob, and opened the door. The scent of Marco wafted through the room and hit him in the face.

He walked over to Marco's desk and saw a small sheet of paper and an envelope marked with his name.

He picked up the piece of paper, not yet ready to read the letter for him. There was a single sentence.

"_I leave my heart to Jean Kirschtein."_

Jean's lips quivered as he read it, tears filling up his eyes again. Marco. Marco. His sweet, sweet Marco had given his heart to him.

After briefly crying, he placed the will back onto the desk. With trembling fingers, he picked up the envelope.

"_Dear Jean,_

_ If you're reading this, it means that I have died. I'm so sorry, Jean. But I couldn't do it anymore. The pain was slowly killing me inside. I didn't know what else to do or who to turn to. I'm pretty stupid, aren't I? I had you, Armin, Christa, Annie, Eren, Reiner, Bertholdt, and all our other friends to turn to. And yet in the end, I turned to death. Sorry for my rambling. This probably isn't what you want to read. You want to why I killed myself, right? Here goes nothing._

_ Jean, that day when I confessed my love for you, I had a small ray of hope in my heart. That maybe you'd reply, "Oh, Marco. I love you too." But alas, I didn't receive that reply. You still loved Mikasa, and on the day that you told me that she said "yes," I cried and cried. I feared that answer, you know. Somewhere, deep down in my mind, I knew that you'd eventually forget me. Mikasa would occupy 90% of your time, and I'd just become someone you used to know. I don't hate Mikasa and I'm glad she's here for you. She'll help you get through my death, and I'm grateful for her. And although I was always envious of her, even before the moment I died, I'm happy that you have her._

_It was my fear and now it is my only wish._

_Forget me, Jean. _

_Please._

_I don't want you to remember me, for I will only bring pain and sorrow._

_Forget me._

_I love you._

_Love, _

_ Marco Bodt._

After reading the last line, Jean could only stare.

And stare.

And stare.

It was his fault that Marco died. If only he hadn't always talked about Mikasa. If only he hadn't continuously talked to Marco about her. If only he was smart enough to not talk about her in front of him.

If only.

If only.

_But alas, the past is the past._

_And there was nothing Jean Kirschtein could do to bring his sweet love back._

_Nothing._

_Absolutely nothing._

_And it made him feel pathetic._


End file.
